Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
Randomize
