Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
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