Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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