You're a womanizer and a bitch.
This is not my ceiling
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Randomize
