I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Drunk cheerio confetti may seem like a brilliant idea when your drunk, but believe me, the next day, its a horrible, horrible mess.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
Next Halloween I want us to dress up as jockeys, get drunk, and ride a carousel all night until we throw up or declare a winner
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
