I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
Ketchup is God's man juice
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
I ate the snowman's head. That is not a drug euphemism.
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
