were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
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