We're like a lot better than the average bears
I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
Randomize
