Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
