two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
