I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
After a beer I realize now I may have shared too much about my obsession with ghosts with my therapist this morning.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
