But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize
