i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
Lemme guess, I was the one completely shit faced making out with the 50 year old...
LOL, wrong number bro. Good luck trying to figure out what happened though..
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Started my day with puking in a trash can.... Its gonna be a beautiful day
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
