You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
attractive or not, he has more than one book on serial killers. i'm gonna get out of here while i can
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
