best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
I'm about to go get lunchables and alcohol. Take that adulthood
Randomize
