We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Randomize
