woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
