when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
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