dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Randomize
