i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
no. you can't hotbox the world.
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
She asked if i could guess "what shape her carpet was". I got it wrong (christmas tree).
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
