We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
Just got our of the shower. I'm standing naked in front of my open windows cause fuck my neighbors that's why
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Randomize
