I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
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