hell yes lets make some ravioli
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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