D3 body, D1 cock
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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