If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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