So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
