The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
You love popeyes more than me
does delicious chicken come out of your vagina?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
I guess when I black out I feel that it's not inappropriate to grope my gf in front of her parents.... But hey at least I'm starting off 2013 single
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
Randomize
