Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Randomize
