Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Randomize
