then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
Randomize
