Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
You screamed "she never feeds them anyway" and threw the fish tank off the 3rd floor balcony. Don't park on our side of the building.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
How hard to you think I will be judged if I order 8 giant pickles from Jimmy Johns right now?
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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