Whoa Z and x make the same sound
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
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