I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
I put you to bed and you would not go unless I let you sleep with the vodka
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
