this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
YOU KNOW BRAZILIAN BOYS ARE MY WEAKNESS
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
