please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
