I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
If it wasn't obvious enough to the cops that she was drunk, she threw in, "I like the colors of the lights because it makes purple."
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
being pregnant is like rehab
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
