Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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