just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Im currently watching two girls making out. In the library. Hope your studying is going as good as mine is. Haha
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Randomize
