Hawaiian shirts and no dignity
We are always on the same wavelength...kinda eerie.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
So, I'm about to take my pants off in the Walmart parking lot, when am old lady parks next to me. I'm all the way in the back next to the semis. What the hell?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
