yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
Just chased the kids into the backyard with kitchen knives. Best. Babysitters. Ever.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Randomize
