I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
At a bar in the city and the whole place starting singing “Happy Birthday” to someone. Everyone but me. The person next to me leaned over and said, “Why didn’t you sing along?!?” I responded, “I don’t know him. I don’t give a shit if he has a happy birthday.”
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize