hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
i climbed out of the bath tub this morning and found him taped to the treadmill
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I forgot to respond before, I was apologizing for confusing sex with secret Santa.
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
