it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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