He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Pandemic Silver Lining: cheap hotel rates makes it easier to have afternoon fun with my side dick
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