mutual masturbation is only cool if cash money records is involved.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
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