Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
