She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
Xanax induced break ups are the best. Since I'm a professional fiancee, I'm going to break up with them on Xanax from now on. It didn't hurt one tiiiiiny bit.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I would say "man cannot subsist on sexting and brownies alone" but I think it's actually possible.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Let's play another riveting game of "Whose boxers are hanging on my fence?"
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
Randomize
