S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
