do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Did you hit it?
Turns out she was a he. but to answer your question, yes.
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I just saw a sign that said "STRIPPERS!!! As seen on Jerry Springer!". As if Springer is the highest honor. I'm pretty sure we're in south Georgia.
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
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