I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
