VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
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